Picture day

We have a friend in town from MI. He is a photographer and his name is Chris. We decided to have him come and take pictures of us at the park. I was so excited. So I got all the boys white polo shirts and Carlee and I wore white shirts and teal tanks under them. It really did turn out cute. We missed Julian. His mom took him out of town this weekend. So we will have to try it again another day with him in it. It was hard with Gavin, he was pretty difficult until I got out the cookies. Food is always something great to bribe him with. :) But it was extremely hot this morning and we were getting grouchy. They turned out pretty good considering.. And then our friends Jeremy and Aubrey went tonight and got theirs done. It was fun for everyone. :)

Then this evening we went to Jason and Carissa's. We ate pizza and had a bonfire and made smores. I love to roast marshmallows! And Carlee is staying the night there. I will miss her but I know that she loves to be there...

So now it is about 11:15 and Aaron and Chris are playing a video game. And Gavin is in bed.
Well, that is about all for now. I am going to head out to bed.

On with the end

Well, so Gavin got RSV. No serious enough to put in the hospital. Just treated him at home with multiple breathing treatments a day. So then his Dr. wanted to get a chest x ray. So we went to the hospital and got that done. Well one evening we were eating dinner and his Dr. called. She told us that he did not have pneumonia. This was good. But his heart did appear to be enlarged. I felt as if my heart stopped. I started to cry. she told me not to worry. I was like yeah right, how can a mother not get worried when they are told there is something wrong with their baby's heart?! I cried and cried and called everyone to start praying. I was just sick. So then we scheduled an echo and ekg. And then went to see the cardiologist. He said that his heart was not enlarged. But that they did find a small hole and a coronary fistula. That did not make me feel any better. But he did say these were not serious right now, and may heal themselves. But it is something we have to keep an eye on. So, we went back 6 months later, still a hole and still a fistula. But it wasn't worse, so that is a good thing. So then he changed it to see him once a year for a while. Our next visit will be this Oct. Please keep Gavin in your prayers. So then Gavin had been getting multiple ear infections and his breathing was still bad. So we went to see an ENT specialist. He decided to put tubes in and to take out adenoids. That was an experience. As I took him there and had to hand him off I was crying and praying. What a small procedure, but I think anything your child has to bear, small or not, is hard. So then he came to and ever since then his ear infections have not been as bad, nor has he had as many. The only thing Carlee has been in the hospital for was to get her nose cauterized because she has multiple heavy bloody noses. Which this is hereditary. I also get them and so does my sister. Sometimes they are worse than others.
So, that brings us to right now.. my family now..
I feel so blessed to have my children and a great husband. Aaron is a wonderful man. He works hard for his family and he loves all of us so much. For those of you who don't know him well, he is really layed back, he doesn't yell much, and he likes to be a commedian. Sometimes when I am trying to be serious out pops a joke and it annoys me, but then again, that is just him and how he deals with things. He is an only child, but has a step sister and step brother. I love both sets of his parents. They are wonderful people. And if it weren't for them I don't know what we would do. And as for my dad.. he has lightened up a bit. He has gotten a little nicer most of the time. He loves his grandkids, but only wants to be with him on his time and for just a little bit. He is my dad, I do love him, I just wish things were different. He still wouldn't help anyone out if they needed help with anything. He loves his job and his money. He works very hard. And I still miss my mom. Some days are harder than others. It has been 20 years now since she has gone, I thought it would be easier. And some days it is. Well, to end my life story, I just thank God for my life. I thank him for my family. I take being a mother and wife very seriously. And I thank God for my friends. I love all of my friends as well. I don't know what I would do without them. So there you go. :)

Part 3 Life with Aaron

Well, Aaron and I lived at Coliseum Park for about 6 months I think and then we moved to his house in Woodburn. It was a 3 bedroom ranch. This was a hard move for me. But I just went with it. It ended up getting easier living in a house that his ex lived in. She was still having a really hard time with all of this. (As expected). But I was too. I had alot of thoughts of "what am I doing? Jumping right in to a parenting position of a child who is not mine.." I was still very guilty. I had a lot of talks with Aaron. He was still assuring me that all of this had nothing to do with me. I still felt bad for his ex though. I felt like "the other woman" which I never in a lifetime wanted to be that.. Eventually as time passed I started to get rid of these feelings. And realized after talking to everyone who knew them, it wasn't my fault. Not that I am saying I was right for being with him before his divorce was final. That is the one thing I wish I would have done differently. I wish we would have gone much slower. If we would have waited I would not have been so guilty, but also she would have felt better I am sure.
Then on Valentines day 2001 he proposed. Of course I said yes, I loved him with all my heart. It was great! And then I started the planning. It was so fun. We ended up picking the date of Oct. 27, 2001. Yes I got all my planning done in the short time. Our wedding was beautiful. We had a great time. I cried alot there. But they were tears of Joy. the only sad tears were of thinking that I wish my mom would have been there. I needed her there. I needed her to give me those encouraging words and help me get ready. And to tell me she would be there for me when I needed her. I missed her!
Then in July of 2002 I found out we were expecting. It was not planned. But I was so excited!! And scared. I wanted to be a good mom. When we found out we were having a girl I was sooo Happy. And then April 23 she was born. One of the best things that ever happened to me. I vowed to her that I would be the best mother I could. I love her with all my heart. And I still try to be the best mother to her. She is such a beautiful, smart girl. Sometimes too smart for her own good. She was an early talker. And she has never stopped. :) Now she is in Kindergarten. wow. Time goes so fast. But back to when she was born. I had so many emotions. I missed my mom. I wish she could have been there. Again, to tell me she would be there for me. And to come over every day and see me and the baby and help me. To give me advice. But I didn't have that. The days after I got home i was very emotional. Needing for someone to love me like a mother. But then I told myself to get over it. No one was going to do that. Then as my friends had babies, they had their moms there to help them. I was a little jealous. But I just vowed to Carlee that I would be there for her. To help her when she needed me.
So then after a little bit I decided it was time to get back into a church. I wasn't sure where, but I knew I wanted to. So some friends of ours invited us to their church. We said ok and went to Aboite Missionary. We liked it. Everyone was friendly and I enjoyed the service. Carlee was about 6 months at the time. A lady came up to us and said she knew us from somewhere. Come to find out she was one of the nurses that helped deliver Carlee. What a small world. So then we started going there on and off. Finally I decided I really wanted a closer relationship with God and wanted to bring the kids up in church. So I started going more often. And that is where we continue to go now.
Then when Carlee was about 2 1/2 we moved here in fort wayne to the house we are in now. We outgrew the one in Woodburn. I was so glad to do this. We were so cramped in the little house. And now we get a house that we started together.
Then we started to try for another baby in 2005. This time it wasn't easy. Then I prayed and said God, if it is in your will please help us to have a baby in your time. So then in Feb. of 2006 we found out that we were having a baby. This time we waited to find out what the sex was until I was 7 months along. We were going to wait and have it be a surprise, but I couldn't take it. We found out it was a boy and I was so excited. And so was Julian. At this point he had Carlee and 2 other sisters with his mom. He was excited to have a boy. Carlee wanted a sister. But she assured me she would still love him. :) I had gestational diabetes with him. This was a hard pregnancy. And then we had him on Nov. 21. I had some complications with bleeding and clotting and so forth and they worked on him for a bit to take a breath and cry. I was so worried.
Then around Christmas time he got rsv. Here started all of his health complications.
Well, I am going to stop here..

More of my Life

Well up to this point I was feeling lonely for my mom. I didn't understand why this happened. I just had mixed feelings.
So, my dad and step mom married in KY. We brought everything of theirs to our small house in Columbia city. Then we moved to Fort Wayne. To a 3 bedroom house with a 1/2 Unfinished basement. And I forgot to mention that when they met, my sister and Jason, her oldest, started dating. Sounds kind of weird. I know. But then that became a serious relationship too. My dad was not very nice to her kids. He made them sleep in the basement. Unfinished, remember. And he did alot of other things that I hope he repented of and I am sure hopeful he is really sorry for them. I don't understand why my step mom let her chiildren get treated like they did. Then Stephanie ended up pregnant. they then got married as well. They lived with us for a while. they ended up having 3 kids (2 girls and a boy) and then twins (girl/boy).
So, all through this time in our lives my dad still did not get along with Don. They always argued. But then so did my step mom and dad. My dad, in case you haven't learned by now, likes to argue. There was constantly an argument. So I think that he was part of the reason my step mom and I aren't closer than we are. I hated that growing up. I wanted a loving mother. She did teach me to cook and clean and so on. But there was never that affection. My dad was always really nice to me. But then that made the other kids mad at me all the time. I hated that too. I found myself wishing he would just treat me like the others so at least I would have them. My dad still did not let me see my grandma besides maybe 2-3 times a year. I loved going to grandmas. there were never fights, and I love her so much! I was so mad at my dad for not letting me see her more often. And I always hated coming home.
So then when I turned 11 my dad and step mom joined a Pentecostal church. I had alot of fun with the youth there. But only when I was allowed to be with them. My dad still was very strict and didn't let me do much at all. I hated this too. I wanted to be anywhere besides home. I was baptized when I was 12. I still went to public school, so when I became pentecostal it was hard. I had to wear skirts all the time, no cutting hair, no tv and so on. This was hard but I did it because I did love Jesus and thought this was the only way to live if you did. And I wanted to fit in with the kids at church. I always wondered about my dad and the way he lived. He didn't change much of how he acted except no drinking and he shaved his face clean of hair. I always prayed to Jesus growing up to never let my heart be hardened like my dad's. And to make my heart soft and love everyone. I never wanted to live like he lived. He didn't show love for anyone. But I know he had a really tough up-bringing. So I feel bad for him now too.
I turned to dating alot. But I use "dating" loosely. I didn't really get to go out with anyone. My dad wouldn't let me. Finally he let me when I was about 17. But there were very strict rules. But I liked to be noticed by boys. I wanted someone to really love me for me. To unconditionally love me no matter what.. I found out that boys didn't really do that at this age. :)
So then when I graduated high school I went to work at Sweetwater Sound. This changed my life forever. I decided to move out because my dad still wouldn't let me do anything. I was almost 19 and still couldn't even go with friends much. I was done with the life. I was done with my parents fighting all the time. Done with them fighting over me, done with hating my life. So I moved in with a friend from church. But then I got caught up in all of the things at Sweetwater and the people there. So I moved out of my friends from church and moved in with a girl from work. I then tried alot of things. And dated alot there too.
Then I met Aaron at Sweetwater. When I first met him I didn't realize he was married with a kid. I just knew he was a DJ on the radio too. We worked in opposite sides of the building, so I didn't meet him until like 6 months or so after I started there. And when I did meet him it wasn't love at first sight. I was too wrapped up in another person. So then I found out that he was married but that they were having troubles. So I was like no way.. not getting involved with that. I didn't want anyone with baggage. So then they separated and we got together. We just talked for a while. Then when we started "dating" we moved in together. WE moved in with a mutual friend from Sweetwater. (At this time I barely talked to my Dad). Then we decided to move to an apartment of our own. It was at Coliseum Park. At this time Julian's mom was very upset. And for good reason. They weren't divorced yet. so I did feel bad. I questioned alot of times what I was doing. Aaron assured me he was never happy with her and so on. So then she started doing really mean things to me. Like calling my dad. (Which I just loved considering how I was already on his bad side for moving out and not going to church anymore.) And there was just alot of drama. Like I said, I felt like I deserved it at this point and I did feel bad for her. I hadn't met Julian yet. We decided that was not a good idea at this time. But then when I met him he was about 2 1/2. He was so cute. And I was struggling with the idea of what I had done to his family. But Aaron still swears to this day that he would have left regardless. It was not me that made him. But that didn't help with my guilt. No matter how mean she was to me I would just take it. I felt like I deserved it. (By the way, now it is much better between us. For the most part).

Well that is where I will stop for now.
Please don't think like I am feeling like a victim. I am not. I am just sharing how I felt.

My life Story

The Beginning...

Well, I was born in Sept. of 1980. My mothers name Lucinda (Cindy) Lee and my father Dud. Yes, I know, what a crazy name. I grew up hating to tell people my dad's name, but hey, I didn't name him.
Anyways. I am the youngest of 3 girls. My oldest Sister Elizabeth (Ellie) is 10 years older. And my next Sister Stephanie (steph) is 8 years older. My dad told me that he wanted to try for a boy and that is why I am so far behind in age. I looked up to my sisters. I always wanted to be just like them.

I don't have much of a memory before my mom died. She died when I was about 7. But I will get to that night later... Nor do I have any pictures besides one of her or me or anyone...

One of the only things I remember is being in the hospital when I had pneumonia. I was in an oxygen bubble. I was probably 3 or 4.

I

So my parents got a divorce when I was about 5 or 6. I definitely don't remember them ever being together. I know that they fought alot. And that my Dad was an alcoholic. When they divorced she started to work alot. She worked at a bar and at a factory. At this time, Ellie was married. She got married at an early age, I think 16. And Steph was still with me. She is the one that stayed with me alot but also I stayed with my Uncle and his wife. My mom dated a bit. I always hated all of the men (not to say there were alot). I just hated them. She brought home one or two that I remember. I just hated sharing her with them. I felt like I didn't see her enough.

So then my mom started to have seizures. I was always scared to stay alone with her because these were scary. But on the night she died I was sleeping with her. She woke me up having a seizure. I ran in to get Stephanie and she called 911 and my uncle Gary who lived down the road not too far. So, he got to our house sooner because we lived on a farm in the country. He tried to do cpr and everything, but by the time the ems got there it was too late. They took me down stairs and my sister Stephanie was still in the room with my mom crying in the corner. I couldn't believe what was happening. This wasn't fair! I wanted my Mommy! So then Stephanie and I went to live with my dad. Whom we didn't know that well because we never saw him. He was a work -aholic. We wanted to live with my Grandma (mom's mom). But of course we couldn't. So then Steph really started to take care of me. She and my dad didnt get along well. They always butted heads. But my dad treated me like his baby. He dated around alot before and after my mom died. He was engaged once but broke it off. Stephanie took me everywhere. I learned way too much for my age. But poor steph didn't have a normal teen life. We fought alot, but I loved (well I still love her) her so much. She was like my mother thru everything. I don't know what would have happened to me if it weren't for her. She has a good heart!
At this time my sis Ellie had a baby boy. And they moved alot so I didn't see them much. Then within the next 4-5 years she had a total of 3 boys and a girl.
WE lived about 2 blocks from my grandma, but I never got to see her because my dad didn't like her. That was hard because I was always close to my grandma.
Then about a year and half later my dad met a lady through one of his sisters in KY. Her name is SAndy. She had 2 boys and 2 step sons from her late husband. Her step sons were older with families already. And her 2 sons were about Stephanies age with about a year 1/2 to 2 years between them. Their names are Jason and Don. They decided to marry shortly after meeting.


And I will stop there for now.. I will pick up on the rest later.

So, how am I feeling today... well let's see...

I am a little tired today. Aaron and I had a chance to go to dinner with no kids last night. We went with our good friends Jeremy and Aubrey. We ate at Lonestar and then went to play putt putt. So, we got to bed at 11. But i am still really tired.

I was reading thru the blogs of some of my friends and it seems everyone is telling their life stories.. I think that is a great idea. So maybe I will try it. I think maybe it will let people know where I am coming from sometimes and maybe help me heal from some of the things I am going thru. And hey, I like to share myself with people. As alot of you know, I am a pretty open person. I don't keep alot of deep dark secrets.. :) And I am open to closeness of people. I mean, I love being with people and helping people and talking so why not share my life story right?

Well, that will be my next post. Right now Gavin needs his diaper changed. I can smell him all the way across the room.. ssshhhheeewwwww...

Well as I am sitting here watching Aaron, Julian and Carlee build with legos I am trying to decide where to start with what has been going on in our life..

Since school has started we have tried to stay on a pretty good schedule. Gavin goes to bed at 815 Carlee at 845 and Julian at 915. Carlee and Julian get on the bus at 7:25. So they have to get up early. And Julian has decided to try band. He thinks he wants to play the Saxaphone. Aaron and I think that with him in Baseball, Football, Basketball and Boy scouts this is alot. And he will have a lot of responsibility. But we will see how it goes. His mom really wants him in band because she was.. she wants him to try it out.. Hopefully his grades won't fall. But maybe he will like it...

We went to Chicago This past Fri. Aaron's mom and Step dad treated us. It was nice. While Aaron, Julian and Kevin were at the Cubs game, Betty Carlee and I went to American Girl to have lunch. It was awesome. First they got us the seat for her Bitty Baby. Then they brought drinks and Iced Cinnamon Rolls. Then a fruit and veggie tray. Then we got to order lunch and then we each got dessert. The dessert was big it came with a cookie, chocolate mousse and a cupcake. We were stuffed.. Then we went to the lego store on SAt. It was a lot of fun.

WEll, that is all I have time for, for now..

We made it thru

WEll, we made it thru the first day of kindergarten. And today Carlee rode the bus with Julian for the first time. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. We both made it without crying.. much. :)
And I want to say thank you for praying for us and the situation with Julian. I think we have it worked out for the most part. God has answered prayers... he has made it much less difficult.
Now for another prayer request. Please pray for Aaron and his job situation. I will fill you in on that another time.
WEll I am going to a food tasting event tonight for HOmemade Gourmet. They have some new stuff out. I am excited. I love their stuff anyways. It makes my life easier. :) Thanks Tiffany for introducing it to me. If anyone is interested let me know.
Last weekend we went to a family reunion. It was my Grandfathers. It was a different experience. See I haven't really seen my Grandfather besides 3 times since my mother died when I was 7. But my Grandma invited me and I went really for her. (she and my grandfather are not together but she goes for the rest of the family.) Have I told you how much I love my Grandma?! WEll I do. she is a wonderful person. I don't know what I would do without her. (She is my mothers mom.) Anyways, back to the reunion. I saw people there who didn't even know who I was. But yet they were family. It was ok... Just different. My feelings for my grandfather are torn. I don't call him grandpa.. why should I right? i haven't seen him most of my life. So do I tell my kids he is their grandpa and make them call him that? Should I not worry about it since we probably wont see him? Oh well, I won't worry about it. The reunion is done and I probably won't see him between now and if I go to next years...
Well, i have to go for now.. today I work and have to get carlee from school at 1050 and feed her lunch before going to the sitters. busy busy..

Lately...

Well, let's see how it has been going with me... caoticness, sadness, confusion, and then even some loving moments.. wow, crazy huh?? :)
We finally have all of what Carlee needs to start Kind. on thurs. She has decided she wants me to take her the first day (let's hope I don't walk out sobbing) and then she thinks she will be ready to ride the bus with Julian. He will help her get to her class that way. He is such a great big brother! And she loves him so much even though they argue alot. They play together so much and they fight so much. Definately a normal brother-sister relationship. And then they ask to have slumber parties every night where Carlee can sleep in his room on the bottom bunk. They love it. And believe it or not Julian asks more than she does! It is so cute, and I figure I might as well let them while they are young enough to do that and they want to. And Gavin loves him so much too. They love on eachother all the time. It is so cute! I love this. And I know Julian does too. We are still working on the idea of his mom wanting to change the schedule. He has told us multiple times he likes the schedule it is, and we think it is the best for a split family situation. At least for our split family. So please pray for his mom and for all of us to keep that open mind and do what is best for him.

Then I got to talk to my father in law a little more. And share my feelings and a little bit of my childhood and why I am like I am. It was great. I got to share that I love him and his wife. And it feels great to know that they love me too. Considering I am not really that close to my own dad in many ways.. For those of you who know me well enough I am SO open to being close to people. I really enjoy peoples company and showing them I care. But it is also nice being cared for as well. I think that we all need eachother and we were put on the earth by God to help one another and be there for eachother. For all of you who read this, know that you have a special place in my heart! :) (and you probably all know I am a sappy person as well). I remember growing up praying for God to give me a "soft heart" and never to let my heart harden and to be helpful when I can. I think he has answered that prayer!

Let's see what else is going on..
Our friend Chris is coming to town at the end of Aug. to do our family pics in the park. I am excited. We will see how Gavin does. He hates to sit still as most of you know. And he hates his pic taken.. please pray for us. :) I hope we get at least one good one. Plus our last family pic Aaron and I were both 30 pounds heavier. It will be nice to get a new one. :)

Oh, yes.. and Julian starts football today. I love Football and Baseball. And he is so good at both.

And I am still working on my relationship with God. I know that I need to pray more. I long to be a Great mom, a Great Wife, and a great person. And I know I need God to help me achieve all of those things.
Well, that is all for now. I need to get going...

Healing

Well, yesterday was a good evening. We got to keep Julian an extra night since Aaron's dad, Dan and stepmom Helena were in town. Dan and Helena came over for dinner. We had baked spaghetti. It is always a big hit, and such an easy thing to make. And I made Peach Cobbler. It was great too. We had a good dinner. And then DAn gave me my early Bday present from him. I got an Ipod. It is so cool. Aaron has to teach me how to use it. lol. Then Helena and I decided to go for a walk to the park and work out some differences we had. It was over some big misunderstandings. And Man it felt great to work them out and let eachother know how we feel and some of our own issues. It was very good. It feels like a weight is lifted and now I won't feel as stressed every time they come to town. I just can't explain how better I feel. So, as I was doing this I thought that I should do this kind of thing more often when I get my feelings hurt or something. So, then I decided to work out a few things with Carissa. We talked and are still working. :)
You know I have been thinking.. Friends and family have way too much drama going on. You know, true friends can talk and can tell eachother how they feel and get upset but then still love eachother and not break apart the relationship. That is how it should be. And that is how family should be. But why is it so hard? Do we not like to hear the truth? Do we not like to know someone is upset with us? What is it? I know how important friends and family are. And life is too short to be mad or stay mad at someone. We all need someone or multiple someones.. But what everyone truely needs is God. It is hard sometimes to just leave things in God's hands.. but this is something I am really working on. Because ultimately he knows what will happen in the future because he holds the future in his hands.
Well, that is all for now..

I made It!

Ok, so I forgot to also say that I made my goal at weight watchers.... now it is just time to maintain. Wish me luck!

Today I took the kids to Super shots for their shots. Woo Hoo. Luckily Aaron had the day off to help. They were both troopers though. Carlee got her shots for Kindergarden and Gavin just got his 18 month ones.

Speaking of Carlee, she starts Kindergarden next week! She is excited, I am so Sad! It seems crazy that my baby girl is going to Kindergarden. I mean it feels like just yesterday that she was getting her 18 month shots. Now she starts school and will be in it for the rest of her life until adulthood. Wow, it makes me want to cry! I will take her down to the bus with her big brother Julian on the morning of the 14th and I will be walking back with Gavin wiping tears away. Please pray that God gives me strength!

Well, I am going to go for now..

Women of Faith was wonderful

Well, we had a wonderful time at Women of Faith! My best Friend Aubrey, Carissa and Aaron's step mom Helena went with me. We left Friday morning around 8am. I stopped and got everyone starbucks, we felt as if we couldn't function without it. :) So we got there with plenty of time to spare. We went shopping at Circle Center. It was nice shopping with the girls and no kids or husbands complaining...
Women of Faith was good on friday. The very funny Anita Renfroe spoke. And of course sang a couple of her funny songs.. And Nicole Mullen sang. She is fantastic. All of the women that were there had a special story to tell. And the theme for this Year was Infinate Grace. God gives us infinate grace. Nicole Johnson did some skits. All of them really hit home for mothers and really any woman. She showed us how our words and our tongue is like a fire. It can destroy and it is very hard to rebuild. So we should watch what we say. And even how we say it. And how we speak to our children stays with them for life. And how we talk to friends, and family.. And of course Patsy Clairmot was there. She was funny but then she had some serious things to speak about. She has a friend who was diagnosed with Cancer and is having a hard time. God gave her a scripture for this friend. She was not sure how it would be the right one but God layed it on her heart to give it to her. It was "Let there be LIght" Patsy said.. "Are you serious God? How is this going to comfort her? She needs something good." Well Patsy gave this scripture to her friend Carol. Carol was like ok... it didn't really help her out right at that moment.. but the next week she went to the dr. and he was looking at xrays (or whatever they were) and He said that he was looking for specks of light. He said that where ever the light is that is where the antibodies are fihting the cancer and it is a good thing.. WOW God is good and he knows what we need...
And then Marilyn Meberg went over love me never leave me, her book. And how people need that closeness from other people. But especially from God. And Sheila Walsh went over Prayer and how sometimes we need closure with things and to really pray about them. And no matter where we are God is with us. He is who we need to depend on. And Lucy Swindoll spoke last. On how God gives us Infinate Grace always.. And of course how could I forget Sandi Patti. She spoke on her wanting to always be a people pleaser and how she struggled with her self image. It was wonderful. I always get something out of Women of Faith and I really want to go next year! I feel like this year God Specifically spoke to me a few times.. And I am really working on being a better person. A better wife, a better mother, a better friend and a better christian. I love God with all of my heart.
Well, before I say good bye for now, I want to ask you for prayer. Please pray for my family. there are so many things we need prayer for, but the one thing I am asking you now for is to pray for our situation with Julian. Some of you already know what it is. Please just pray that God speaks to Julians mom and to us. I really think that the idea that was brought up is wrong and will not be what is best for Julian. So just pray that God will have his way with this. And that he touches everyones heart and mind. Julian is such a special person with a "special" situation. And we love him so much. So please help me pray for this.. I believe that there are peole hurting and with other situations that are trying to fix them or take control of this one thing in their life, and this is not the way to do it...
Anyways, thank you for reading.. bye for now..