Well, Aaron and I lived at Coliseum Park for about 6 months I think and then we moved to his house in Woodburn. It was a 3 bedroom ranch. This was a hard move for me. But I just went with it. It ended up getting easier living in a house that his ex lived in. She was still having a really hard time with all of this. (As expected). But I was too. I had alot of thoughts of "what am I doing? Jumping right in to a parenting position of a child who is not mine.." I was still very guilty. I had a lot of talks with Aaron. He was still assuring me that all of this had nothing to do with me. I still felt bad for his ex though. I felt like "the other woman" which I never in a lifetime wanted to be that.. Eventually as time passed I started to get rid of these feelings. And realized after talking to everyone who knew them, it wasn't my fault. Not that I am saying I was right for being with him before his divorce was final. That is the one thing I wish I would have done differently. I wish we would have gone much slower. If we would have waited I would not have been so guilty, but also she would have felt better I am sure.
Then on Valentines day 2001 he proposed. Of course I said yes, I loved him with all my heart. It was great! And then I started the planning. It was so fun. We ended up picking the date of Oct. 27, 2001. Yes I got all my planning done in the short time. Our wedding was beautiful. We had a great time. I cried alot there. But they were tears of Joy. the only sad tears were of thinking that I wish my mom would have been there. I needed her there. I needed her to give me those encouraging words and help me get ready. And to tell me she would be there for me when I needed her. I missed her!
Then in July of 2002 I found out we were expecting. It was not planned. But I was so excited!! And scared. I wanted to be a good mom. When we found out we were having a girl I was sooo Happy. And then April 23 she was born. One of the best things that ever happened to me. I vowed to her that I would be the best mother I could. I love her with all my heart. And I still try to be the best mother to her. She is such a beautiful, smart girl. Sometimes too smart for her own good. She was an early talker. And she has never stopped. :) Now she is in Kindergarten. wow. Time goes so fast. But back to when she was born. I had so many emotions. I missed my mom. I wish she could have been there. Again, to tell me she would be there for me. And to come over every day and see me and the baby and help me. To give me advice. But I didn't have that. The days after I got home i was very emotional. Needing for someone to love me like a mother. But then I told myself to get over it. No one was going to do that. Then as my friends had babies, they had their moms there to help them. I was a little jealous. But I just vowed to Carlee that I would be there for her. To help her when she needed me.
So then after a little bit I decided it was time to get back into a church. I wasn't sure where, but I knew I wanted to. So some friends of ours invited us to their church. We said ok and went to Aboite Missionary. We liked it. Everyone was friendly and I enjoyed the service. Carlee was about 6 months at the time. A lady came up to us and said she knew us from somewhere. Come to find out she was one of the nurses that helped deliver Carlee. What a small world. So then we started going there on and off. Finally I decided I really wanted a closer relationship with God and wanted to bring the kids up in church. So I started going more often. And that is where we continue to go now.
Then when Carlee was about 2 1/2 we moved here in fort wayne to the house we are in now. We outgrew the one in Woodburn. I was so glad to do this. We were so cramped in the little house. And now we get a house that we started together.
Then we started to try for another baby in 2005. This time it wasn't easy. Then I prayed and said God, if it is in your will please help us to have a baby in your time. So then in Feb. of 2006 we found out that we were having a baby. This time we waited to find out what the sex was until I was 7 months along. We were going to wait and have it be a surprise, but I couldn't take it. We found out it was a boy and I was so excited. And so was Julian. At this point he had Carlee and 2 other sisters with his mom. He was excited to have a boy. Carlee wanted a sister. But she assured me she would still love him. :) I had gestational diabetes with him. This was a hard pregnancy. And then we had him on Nov. 21. I had some complications with bleeding and clotting and so forth and they worked on him for a bit to take a breath and cry. I was so worried.
Then around Christmas time he got rsv. Here started all of his health complications.
Well, I am going to stop here..
Then on Valentines day 2001 he proposed. Of course I said yes, I loved him with all my heart. It was great! And then I started the planning. It was so fun. We ended up picking the date of Oct. 27, 2001. Yes I got all my planning done in the short time. Our wedding was beautiful. We had a great time. I cried alot there. But they were tears of Joy. the only sad tears were of thinking that I wish my mom would have been there. I needed her there. I needed her to give me those encouraging words and help me get ready. And to tell me she would be there for me when I needed her. I missed her!
Then in July of 2002 I found out we were expecting. It was not planned. But I was so excited!! And scared. I wanted to be a good mom. When we found out we were having a girl I was sooo Happy. And then April 23 she was born. One of the best things that ever happened to me. I vowed to her that I would be the best mother I could. I love her with all my heart. And I still try to be the best mother to her. She is such a beautiful, smart girl. Sometimes too smart for her own good. She was an early talker. And she has never stopped. :) Now she is in Kindergarten. wow. Time goes so fast. But back to when she was born. I had so many emotions. I missed my mom. I wish she could have been there. Again, to tell me she would be there for me. And to come over every day and see me and the baby and help me. To give me advice. But I didn't have that. The days after I got home i was very emotional. Needing for someone to love me like a mother. But then I told myself to get over it. No one was going to do that. Then as my friends had babies, they had their moms there to help them. I was a little jealous. But I just vowed to Carlee that I would be there for her. To help her when she needed me.
So then after a little bit I decided it was time to get back into a church. I wasn't sure where, but I knew I wanted to. So some friends of ours invited us to their church. We said ok and went to Aboite Missionary. We liked it. Everyone was friendly and I enjoyed the service. Carlee was about 6 months at the time. A lady came up to us and said she knew us from somewhere. Come to find out she was one of the nurses that helped deliver Carlee. What a small world. So then we started going there on and off. Finally I decided I really wanted a closer relationship with God and wanted to bring the kids up in church. So I started going more often. And that is where we continue to go now.
Then when Carlee was about 2 1/2 we moved here in fort wayne to the house we are in now. We outgrew the one in Woodburn. I was so glad to do this. We were so cramped in the little house. And now we get a house that we started together.
Then we started to try for another baby in 2005. This time it wasn't easy. Then I prayed and said God, if it is in your will please help us to have a baby in your time. So then in Feb. of 2006 we found out that we were having a baby. This time we waited to find out what the sex was until I was 7 months along. We were going to wait and have it be a surprise, but I couldn't take it. We found out it was a boy and I was so excited. And so was Julian. At this point he had Carlee and 2 other sisters with his mom. He was excited to have a boy. Carlee wanted a sister. But she assured me she would still love him. :) I had gestational diabetes with him. This was a hard pregnancy. And then we had him on Nov. 21. I had some complications with bleeding and clotting and so forth and they worked on him for a bit to take a breath and cry. I was so worried.
Then around Christmas time he got rsv. Here started all of his health complications.
Well, I am going to stop here..
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