Almost 2009

Well, it has been a while.

We had a great Christmas. On Christmas Eve we went to my dad's family Christmas at my step brothers house. Then we went to Christmas Eve service at church. Then we went to look at Christmas lights. We always go by the house in Emerald Lake addition off of Covington road. It is beautiful. Then we got up Christmas morning and opened presents. My dad came over for a little while and then at 4 we got Julian and went to Aaron's aunts house to have dinner with his family. Then on friday we hung out at home with Aaron's dad and step mom. And Friday evening we went to Aaron's mom's house. So that was our busy Christmas. It was fun though. I love getting together with family.

And now here we are, at the end of the year. What a year it has been. God has been so good to me. And I will have to say I have been thru alot this year. But I think I have grown from it. I think that God lets us walk through things to make us stronger. But he never leaves us alone to deal with things, he is always there with us.

Tonight Aaron took Carlee to a Birthday party at the Roller Dome. And Gavin and I are just hanging out. I have been cleaning for our little party tomorrow and for our friend that will be staying with us until Sunday.

Well, that is all for now.

More on Love

So I am continuing to read the Love Dare book. And there were a few points it made that I would like to share with you.

It is on unconditional love again.. I remember when I shared about what the Pastor taught on this.
If someone asks why you love your spouse would you name their qualities? Love should not be based on qualities alone. What if those qualities disappear? Your basis for love is over.
The only way love can last a lifetime is if it is unconditional.
Love is not determined by the one being loved but rather by the one Choosing to love.
Unconditional love will not be swayed by time or circumstance.
And lastly, You will fail to attain this kind of marriage unless you allow God to begin growing his love within you.

I really liked those points. :)

Anyways, the weather sounds like it is going to get bad tonight. Carlee is suppose to have her winter celebration at school tomorrow. I am going to help with that... that is if school is not cancelled.
I am also going to make candy this weekend. I got a few new recipes.. hopefully they turn out good. :)

I can't believe Christmas is less than a week away. Wow, it snuck up on us fast! And then it will be the new year.

Well, that is all for now.

Busy, Busy

Well this week has been pretty busy. The spot on Carlee's leg has come back. I have been on the phone with the dr. and work has been busy. Tuesday I went out to eat with my friend/sis-in-law Carissa and that morning I helped out at Carlee's school. I enjoy going in to her class and helping out. The kids there are getting to know my now. They always come up to me and say "Mrs. Robbins, do you remember my name?" or "Can Carlee come over today?" It is cute.
Julian had his Christmas play last night. He did so good as Santa. We were so proud of him. He really enjoys acting.
Tonight I am watching the Witte kids. Jeremy and Aubrey went to a Christmas play. Tomorrow Aaron, me, Aubrey and Jeremy are suppose to go out to Biaggi's and then to see 4 Christmas. Then on Sunday we are going to the Colts' game. Aaron woke up this morning not feeling well, so I really hope he feels better tomorrow.
I can't believe it is less than 2 weeks until Christmas.
Well, that is all I have for now...

Peace

Sunday our Pastor had another good message. (I love our Pastor by the way). He taught on Peace. Can you have peace during time of turmoil and in the bad times? Wow. what a thought. When something bad happens or when we are in hard times do we give it to God and then have peace? I know this is something I wish I could say that I do. I struggle with not worrying and giving it to God. I want my life to line up with God and give all my struggles and everything in my life to him.
Then we went to Pastor's house. His family invited the church to his house for a holiday open house. It was fun. I had a wonderful time!!

So this weekend Aaron and I are going with our friends to Indy for the Colts-Lions game. I am excited! I love going to Colts' games.

Well, I am getting tired.. off to bed I go..

So, what have we been up to... Well, our car has been in the shop for 2 days. It has a few things wrong with it. And it isn't going to be cheap to fix.
I am still reading the book of Luke in the Bible and the Love Dare. And I got some good advice from someone.. here it is...
If you wouldn't say it to Jesus or your best friend then don't say it to your husband. Too many times we are worried about upsetting our friends or co workers but we are too comfortable with our husbands and say mean things to them.. I am guilty of that at times. So I keep that idea in my head now..
And I am still praying for Aaron to find Christ. I long for him to be the spiritual leader in our home.
Well, I am so tired. so off to bed I go.

Thankful

With Thanksgiving coming I just want to say how thankful I am that God has given me such a wonderful family. I love my hard working husband and the 3 kids. They are all so much fun. And I thank God for all the things he does for us and gives us.

Poor Julian has a stomach bug today. He has been throwing up and in the bathroom since 3 am. I hope he gets better for Thanksgiving.
Carlee and Julian are done with school now until Monday. They are happy to be able to sleep in. I have to be honest that I am too. :) And I am still trying to get over this cold. It is terrible. I hate being stuffy.

Aaron and I have started the Love Dare. We got this book last week. We started it yesterday. This is the book off of the movie Fireproof.
I am also still reading the proper care and feeding of husbands. It is actually pretty good and insightful. I am also reading the book of Luke in the Bible. I am enjoying reading all of these.

Well, I hope everyone has a good and blessed Thanksgiving.

My baby is 2 now

Well, Gav turned 2 on Friday. He is getting so big. He is such a little snuggle bug. He loves to give hugs and snuggle with me. I love it. He is in the "mommy can 't get out of my sight" stage. Sometimes it is a little much, but I know it won't last forever, so I need to cherish it. We had one of his bday parties on Sat. with many family and friends. It was fun. He got some great things. His cake was Thomas the train and we had Thomas and Backyardigans balloons. He still loves the backyardigans (he calls that cartoon Pablo). Then today we had Aaron's dad, step mom, step brother and sister in law and their girls over. We had a good time with them. We played a game called Buzz with his Dad and step mom. That was alot of fun.

We went to church this morning too. There was a great message. Pastor talked about being Thankful and not complaining. He said that Jesus never complained and he went through way more than we did. And that Christians' language should be Praise and thanksgiving not complaining. Man, that hit home. I do complain and alot of times when I shouldn't. I should just be thankful for the things I have. I am going to really try to just sit and think about all the things I am thankful for when I feel like complaining. Sometimes this is really hard to do. Then he also said that Thanksgiving is not just about the food. It is about the people that are there with you and the things that God has given to us. What a great message!

I am battling a cold. I hate being stuffy. I can't sleep great. I hate breathing through my mouth. And then of course to go along with my cold I have a couple cold sores on my lip. I haven't had one in about a year... yuck!! I hate them. (here I go complaining).

I am so thankful for my new furniture from my neighbors. We needed new so badly. It was so nice of them to just give it to us. And then my mother in law gave us a new box springs and mattress today. Yeah!!

Well, that is all for now. I am getting tired..... night.

Brrr

What a cold day out! And to see the snow!!!

We had a good weekend. Friday the Dr. sent Carlee to the hospital to get some lab work done. Her leg got so bad! We go in today to find out the results.
Then Sat. she and Julian went to Julian's mom's house for Caroline's bday. She was asked to stay the night. She was so excited. She had a good time. Aaron, Gavin and I went to eat at Cebolla's and then went to our friend Tim and Stina's house. We had a little Bible study and talked and just hung out. It was fun. It was different only having one kid. Gavin talked at dinner so much. It was amazing. And he was so well behaved. He didn't have to compete for our attention or to be heard.
Then on Sunday I was in the nursery at church. And then I went and got a haircut.
So that was our weekend.
Now today I had to go get lab work done. And then I take Carlee back in to the dr. for a check up on her leg and hopefully the lab results.
Then tomorrow we are getting our carpets cleaned. They are in desperate need. And tomorrow night I will get my hair colored.
Friday is Gavin's 2nd bday. I can't believe it. Friday is also Carlee's Thanksgiving feast. I am going to help out her class with that.
Sat. is Gavin's bday party.
What a week!!
I am reading the book of Luke in the Bible right now. Also I am reading another book... don't laugh when you here what it is.... it is called The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands... yes people, my husband got me this book. Funny huh... But it has some good points in it. I told him I would read it..
Well, I am off to get Carlee from school....

Well, I hope you enjoy the new music I posted. I love the first song. Because just like it says, I feel like sometimes if I could just press through what I am going thru and just touch the hem of his garment I would be made whole. I have been struggling with issues lately that some of you know about. And I just have been praying and asking God for help. And I just remember this song all the time. And I know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and I won't be in this place forever. I know that it feels like I will, but I won't. And for those of you struggling, know God is there and he is the same in the valley just like on the mountain top. He is always there. And just like footprints in the sand he carries us. We just need to keep reminding ourselves of this. I am the first to admit I need to be reminded often. But I love God and I know he loves me and died for me and doesn't want me to feel like this.. so i know he will comfort me. So just keep me in your prayers.
And God is continuing to answer my prayers for Aaron and our relationship. So I thank God for that.
I am taking Carlee today to the dermatologist for the spot on her leg. It has gotten so big and I am just worried about infection and stuff. I will keep you posted.
Gavin is good. He will be 2 on the 21st, time has just flown by.
And Julian is good. I am so proud of him for standing up in what he believes with our family morals too. That is what God expects of us all. And for him to do that it is great..
Well, I have to run to another dr. appt.

Here are the lyrics to the song...
Been ostracized for 12 years
I’m used to being alone
Spent everything I had And now it’s gone
I’m used to being put down
My issues tell it all
My only hope is anchored In this fall
Chorus
If I could just touch the hem of His garment
I know I’d be made whole
If I could just press my way thru this madness
His love would heal my soul

If only one touch
So many people calling
How could He ever know
That just a brush of HimWould stop the flow
If he knew would He rebuke me Or shame me to the crowd
Well I’m desperate ‘cause it’s never or it’s now

Chorus

Suddenly He turned around
He said somebody has unleashed my power
Well, Frightened and embarrassed I bowed
You see I told Him of my troubles
And how…I had to touch the Hem of His garment
And I know I’ve been made whole
And how I had pressed my way thru the madness
And His love has healed my soul
Then with one word He touched the hem of my garment
And you know I’ve been made whole
And somehow He pressed His way thru my madness
And His love has healed my soul
I tell you He touched me
He reached way down and touched me
When no one else would touch me
Jesus, shol’ ‘nough He touched me… And I know I’ve been made whole


enjoy.

Halloween

Well, here are a couple pics from halloween. We had wonderful weather and it was fun. Enjoy... I by the way was dressed in 80's....

Let Go, Let God

This is the quote of the week for me. I have had 2 people say this to me. So Is God talking to me?? Probably.
Today is election day.. and I am nervous about it.. but just like the Pastor said on Sunday... America needs to make sure to be turned to God and we need to pray that our new President does the same.. And I do know that before the end of time comes there are things that have to happen.. so maybe this is the beginning.. who knows....
Anyways.. I want to thank a special friend for taking time out of her very hectic life to call me and talk to me about things... She has her own kids, and she fosters and she just has alot on her plate and she took time out for me... thank you.
My thoughts lately have been this.... why is it so hard for us to give God complete control? Why is it hard for us to just have faith?? But it is hard isn't it... we need to Let Go and Let God. But yet it is easy to say and to believe, but hard to live and to practice...
Anyways... I am out of here for now...

New Addition to my family

Well, not to my immediate family. But my nephew Tony's girlfriend just had their baby boy. His name is Trenton. He is adorable. I went and spent some time with them tonight. Please keep them in your prayers. They are young, 16 and 17. And they have it kindof rough. While I was there I had the best time holding the baby and I even changed him for her and swaddled him up. It reminded me of my kids. I miss that.... sometimes. :) I definitely want to be there for them if they need me. I want to be there even if they don't... :) The little guy has a fever now. So please pray for him. I hope all is well, I will know more tomorrow.
Let's also pray for our country and for the election tomorrow.
Well, that is all I have for tonight. I am so tired I can't think anymore..

Set back your clocks

So we just set our clocks back an hour. This means winter is almost here.. ugh. I am battling a cold right now. But Gavin is good and so is Carlee and Julian. And so far Aaron has not gotten it. What a nice night for trick or treating last night. Carlee the witch and Gavin the Bat did so good. They got way too much candy. Unfortunately mommy has liked it too.
We had a visit from my Dad and step mom today. I will have to say that my dad has changed for the better in the past few years. Don't get me wrong, he still is difficult and very opinionated, but he has improved some.
Then we had dinner and had some really good talks with the kids. I have to say I love this. Julian has some really good God and religion questions. I am so proud of him and Carlee. They both love Jesus. they pray for their friends and family and I am just so happy for them. And Julian is comfortable enough to come to me to pray for him and with him. I pray for my kids to grow up to love Jesus and never stop trusting in him.
Well I am getting tired and need to get sleep for church tomorrow.
night

Yesterday

Yesterday I went with Carlee on a field trip. We went to Garrett to a farm/pumpkin patch. It was freezing. But we all had fun. I also took her to see High School Musical 3. She liked it. It is a cute movie. Alot more singing in this one.. and it was sad to know that they are done with High School. Just wondering where they will go with the story now...
I am still reading Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat, MD and Gaye Wheat. It is a great book so far. I am on Chapter 4. I am learning so much. I definitely recommend reading this if you are married or going to get married. I have talked Aaron into reading it too.. then we can talk about it. So far it has talked about Love, Sex, and a Godly relationship and what God expects and if we follow that then our marriage will be so much better...
I liked this quote.. Feeling of love is not the most crucial ingredient of the marriage. The fact of love, based on an unchanging commitment to the other person is the most crucial. the 3 areas are Choice of will, action and feeling. Feeling comes last. And also marriage should not be based on 50-50 it should be each person giving 100-100. There is just so much more..
Anyways... I am going to be done for now. I have to go get Carlee from school. Have a good day. :)

The Weekend

Well... Saturday my niece had her baby shower at my grandma's house. It was good to see my family and be with her... Carlee came too. She enjoyed playing the games with us.. especially the one with the diapers and melted candy bars in them.. her face was priceless. Then we went to the store and came home and gave each other manicures. She is such a girly girl but yet she loves bugs and to play boy stuff too. So we both have bright pink nails.. it is so cute ;) And she is so happy we match. :) Then late that night Aaron wasn't feeling well and Gavin was in bed so she and I played go fish for about an hour. We had a nice girls night... she really enjoys spending one on one time together.. even though it is hard to do sometimes. She is looking forward to High School Musical 3 and a pedicure soon.....

Today we went to church. And heard a great message on putting on the Armor of God and wearing it always. And we took a much needed nap. Then Carlee and her dad played go fish. She loves that game...

Now I am getting ready to read a chapter in the new book I have started to read. It is called Intended for Pleasure. It is for a christian marriage.

That is about all for now. Can you believe it is so windy and cold.... brrrr
As always, keep us in your prayers....

Today...

Well, we had parent teacher conferences today. Carlee is doing well. she is just shy and get embarrassed easily. I know that if you know her really well that is hard to grasp. :) But she is coming along. The teacher said there is this one little boy in her class which is a little "slower" than the other kids that has really taken a liking to Carlee. She said that Carlee is nice to him and she makes him smile so big. Sometimes she has to tell the boy to give Carlee space. Carlee told me tonight that she knows he is different but that is ok, because that is how God made him. I was proud of her.
Julian is doing good as well. All a's and one b. He is going to Henry Ford Museum next week. He is excited. His mom is going with him. That will be a fun trip for them.
Gavin is doing so good with his talking. He is understanding so much. And he remembers so much. It is amazing. And he is so lovey.. I just love to snuggle him up. He is so cute!!!
I completely finished the Power of a Praying wife book. I am looking for another good one.. .let me know any suggestions. I really enjoyed that book. It has helped me so much.
I am hoping Aaron will read the Power of a Praying Husband sometime..
I guess that is all I have to say for now.. I just want to thank God for all he has done for me and my family.
By the way... there is only like 9 weeks until Christmas... hard to believe huh???

Well, I have the dishwasher going, the washer and dryer going, Gavin napping and Carlee and Julian playing. So I decided to sit down at the computer for a minute.
Julian is home from school today because he somehow got pink eye in both eyes. Poor guy. And I should really be napping now because Gavin had me up all night with a fever. Let's hope and pray Carlee stays clear of all of this sickness.
I really feel like my life has changed for the better lately. I have been getting Carlee and Julian off to school in the morning and then spending time reading my Bible and really praying. Man, let me tell you, this really helps. It is so uplifting and it gives me peace to go through my day. I feel like I have such a closer relationship with God. It is Good! I still struggle a little with some things, but not near so bad. And God is helping with that too. I am reading thru the book of Psalms in the morning. I do a couple chapters. Psalms is such a great book in the Bible. It can really lift your spirits. And I have just been asking God to search my heart and show me where I need to work on things.
On Sat. I went and visited a church with a friend of mine. And the pastor spoke on Prayer. It was a great message. Here are a few of the things he went over...
Prayer is the place where I meet God.
Prayer reminds me with whom my confidence and trust lies in. IS 30:15
Spend time with God and trust in him. Where, what, whom are you turning toward in times of trouble???
Prayer serves to quiet my spirit and guides me in wisdom. Psalm 46:10
Prayer keeps me tender to Christ's leadership in my life. Surrender to God's Control. Neh. 1:11 and 2 Chron. 7:14
Prayer reminds me that God is Great and I am not.
God is in control and he has a plan.
Those were just a few things and a few scriptures I wanted to share with you that he taught on..

I am also still reading Power of a Praying wife. I am almost done with it. Lot's of good stuff in that book!!
And I am praying about our upcoming election. I am not really political. But all I know is that Obama really scares me. I have a theory on him, but I won't share it right now. :)

Well, that is all I have time for, for now.

I forgot to mention that last weekend Aaron and I went to Brown County for our early anniversary get away. It was great! It was nice to get away with no kids. We went walking through all Nashville. And we went to eat and then the next morning we went to the Hot tub and got ready and went to an outlet mall.

So lately I have really been working on my relationship with God and with my husband. For those of you who know I struggled a couple weeks ago with Panic and anxiety pretty badly. But now I am trying to put God in control. I have been praying so much more during the day. And I have been reading my Bible every morning. I hated feeling like I did. I was really down in the dumps. But God picked me up out of the pit of despair. Along with prayers and help from some of the greatest people. I thank all of you who helped me. And I am glad that my relationship with God is stronger.
As for my feelings now... I am still struggling some. I mean with life in general. I really want to be the best wife and mother I can. I struggle with knowing that I can't protect my children from everything. I love my family so much and thank God for giving them to me. And I really am working at placing them in his hands completely.
I have really been searching my heart and asking God to reveal to me what I need to fix and people I need to go to and mend things I have done. And God has revealed me some things. So I went to one person and mended that "relationship". It was a good thing. I still need your prayers though.
Well, that is all I have time for tonight...

October.. what a month!

Well, where do I begin.....
We had to find new sitters for Carlee and Gavin. But at least now they are at the same one. We had a lot of issues with the sitters that they had. It was hard to go through for me. So then I was calling my good friend Aubrey and she gave me the number of a lady that lives really close to me. God answered my prayer of sending me someone I can trust and will love my kids. So far so good. Gavin is completely comfortable there. He doesn't even cry when I leave.

I have been so stressed with that babysitting stuff. And with finances and with Aaron's job and my job. It has been crazy.
There for a while I was really at the lowest point I have ever been. I just felt terrible. I had bad anxiety and just didn't feel right.
So I started to pray more and I read my Bible every day. Which is a big improvement in my life that I should have done earlier. God has helped me so much.
Then I got to praying some more and reading some more and decided it was time to fix some things with some people. So I did that and it helped me and I hope it helped them. Not to mention it was overdue and the right thing to do. So I think it helped to mend some relationships.
Next I have been reading the Power of a Praying Wife. It is a great book. I definitely suggest it. I am even taking notes. Last night I read about priorities. Boy it really hit home. It said if we want to be a priority in our spouses life then they have to be one in ours. And it went on to say alot of other helpful things.
And then Aaron and I have been talking alot about God. And please pray for him too. He is confused and has alot of questions. He really opened up to me the other night which was a big step for him. I think we are going to try to set up a Bible study with someone. This is huge. So please pray for him and for me that we find the right person to teach us.
Then lastly I want to thank God and give my testimony of Gavin. As you all know he had a hole in his heart and a coronary fistula (tunnel between arteries). Well this last time we went to the cardio. he had an echo and it came back that the hole is gone and so is the fistula. THANK YOU GOD! He answered my prayers.
Well, I am also still working on getting my house really really clean. So, I better go for now so I can work on it.

Been a While

Well, it has been a while since I have posted anything. I have had alot going on. Well, lately here is what has been up....

Sunday Aaron and I went to see Fireproof. It was excellent. The acting was just ok. But it had a great story line and some things to learn from. I am still reading The power of a praying wife. It has been great in helping me. Sometimes I feel like marriages lose that loving feeling. We get so caught up in life, in working, and in taking care of kids that we forget about how we need to work on our relationship with eachother. Marriage is definitely not easy. But is life easy?? Not really.

This weekend we have had to deal with a lot. I will have to admit that I broke down a couple times. We have just had a lot happen and it is hard. And I worry all the time about things. I know that I should just trust in God and leave it all in his hands. But I struggle with that. Please keep us in your prayers. Some things happened with Carlee and then things have just kept happening... it is unbelievable at times how life just keeps throwing us curve balls. My stress level has been so high....
anyways...

We are still waiting to hear about Aaron's possible opportunities. I know that God has a plan and we just need to trust in him...

And for what is coming up...
Gavin has his Cardiologist appt. coming up on the 6th and then again on the 7th. Please keep him in your prayers. I know that his heart issues are way less than that of some others, but it still worries me. No one wants their child to go thru anything bad, even if it could be worse. This is another thing I just need to put in God's hands.

Well, that is all I have time for ,for now.

28 today

Ok, so 28 years ago today I was born. And so many things have happened in the last 28 years. Time goes so fast. I mean, look at my beautiful family. I have great kids and a great husband, whom I love very much. I could never imagine a life without any of them.

I am reading Power of a Praying Wife. I have had the book for a while from my friend Amber. And I just started to read it. How bad is that. Anyways, I am loving it. It is very helpful. When I get further into the book I will let you know how it goes.

Please pray for Aaron. He has a big thing going on today. And he needs our prayers. I don't want to share quite yet what it is, but just say a prayer. We would appreciate it. :)

Well, I am off to drop kids off at sitters and then to work.

More on Marriage

So, today at church, Pastor taught on Marriage. Wow. I was like, ok. I am at a point in my life right now where I need this. (God knows this and is trying to help.) The pastor talked about how the men are suppose to be the Spiritual leaders in the house. And that the husband and wife are equal and should make decisions together. And wives need to encourage their husbands and let them know that we respect them. And husbands are suppose to let their wives know how much they love them. And so on. I feel like the next couple weeks are for me. He is doing a series on marriage. Aaron and I are ok. But we struggle just like anyone else. I need strength and encouragement sometimes and I am sure he does too. I just hope and pray one day he will want to go to church and live for God. I think this walk in marriage would be easier for both of us if that happened. So Please keep us in your prayers.
Well, football season has begun. GO COLTS! We usually go to at least one game a year. I hope this year we can make it. We will see.
Man the weather stinks right now. I guess it is that time of year.. I can't believe that winter is almost here.
We are still trying to figure out if Carlee is going to be in an extra curicular activity. She isn't sure what she wants to do besides baseball next spring.
Julian has started practicing his saxaphone. And he is in football right now.
Gavin is still learning how to talk. He is so good. He puts sentences together now and he is just a smart little guy.
Well, that is all for now.

Marriage Tips....

Well, It has been a little bit since i have been on. So let's see what is going on..
Aaron went to St. Louis on Wed and Thurs. He got free tickets to the Cubs-Cardinals game. He took 2 of his friends with him. He left early Wed and got back Thurs evening. While he was gone I just hung out with the kids. He had a good time.
Right now I am listening to the kids running back and forth thru the house after each other.. Gavin has one of Aaron's hats on and Carlee is chasing him. It is so cute!
I have been into reading about the Scream Free Marriage stuff.. here are some of the ideas they give:

Marriage is suppose to be tough.
Marriage is work. We have been lead to believe in fairy tale romances. But it is JUST in the fairy tales. But it is work with all on the job training.
Marriage is suppose to be built on respect, intimacy and mutual responsibilities.
We are responsible for our own happiness not our spouse. Don't expect your spouse to make you happy all the time.
Marriage asks us to grow up so we can speak up without becoming childish or demanding.
The key to building all healthy, nurturing relationships is to first focus on yourself.
You are the one and only person you can truly control.

These are the first few things they go thru. I don't know about you, but focusing on yourself is hard. Especially when you are a mom too. And who doesn't want to have a fairy tale romance?
I will share some more Ideas with you all next time.
I am going to go get the kids ready for bed and try to relax some.

Coming Along

So, my cleaning is coming along. I got the floors and the laundry done yesterday. Today I am doing laundry, but I have to go to work in a little bit. I normally don't work on Tuesdays, but Aaron and 2 of his friends are going to St. Louis for the Cubs Cardinals game tomorrow and Thurs. So I took those days off instead. He got free tickets from someone, and a cheap hotel room, so it will be a nice little trip for him. I will get more house work done tomorrow and Thurs.
Yesterday I made homemade salsa and then some friendship bread. You know, the stuff you get in a bag and have to add things to it for 10 days.. So, now I have 3 bags to give away. Let me know if you are interested. :) The salsa turned out pretty good. My family loves salsa. Gavin and Carlee could eat it by the spoonfulls..
Also yesterday I heard a guy named Hal Runkel speak on the radio on midmorning 90.3. I love listening to that on Monday mornings. Anyways, he has a book out called Scream Free Parenting. I thought it looked great. I am going to get it and will let you know how it goes. :) I know that I can be a yeller at times, and I hate doing that.. so we will see...
Well, my washer just beeped at me, so I am going to go finish that load and get ready for work.

Fun Family time

Well, yesterday I worked until about 1245 and then we went to Grandma's house for our family cookout. It was so fun. When I get my pics off the stick I will put them up. The kids had a lot of fun. Julian played ball with the other kids and he rode the 4 wheeler with Carlee and my sis Ellie. Gavin ran around everywhere. He always keeps us on the move. And Carlee had fun with her cousins. Both of the girls that are going to be mothers were there. I am going to be a Great Aunt twice within a month of each other. Makes me feel old. :) I know my grandma had a good time too. She loves it when we can all get together. And she has the perfect place to have a get together. She lives on a farm with a pond. And alot of land to play on.

And today we went to church where the kids had fun. The got t shirts and refreshments and games. And then we came home and we cleaned. I have decided to start with one room at a time and clean it. We got the living room done, the toy closet done (for those of you who have seen this closet, you know what a job it was) and the kitchen. So tomorrow will be cleaning the floors really good and cleaning the bathroom and laundry room. It feels good to have the house clean. I am not excited about doing the bedrooms though. We all have so much stuff!

Well, that is all for now. I will let you know how my cleaning goes.. :)

It's Quiet

Well, the kids are in bed and Aaron is at a work dinner. It is so quiet here. Sometimes when I am the only one awake or I am alone I think... Wow, what do I do now? No one is needing me to do things for them, this is weird. Do you ever feel like that? It is just weird for me. Sure, I have plenty of things to do, like clean my house. But at 945 at night I am just not feelin' it. I must say though, that my house is driving me crazy and I am a bit behind on laundry, so that is what I Should be doing.
So, today I had a "Room Parent" meeting at Carlee's school. I am a room parent for her class. So, I will help out with parties and things like that. But I did not take on the responsibility of "head" room parent. I didn't want to be in charge of that, just help. I do have to say that I am proud of Julian. He was not at our house this week. So Carlee had to ride the bus and go to her class by herself. This is a big thing for her. She has troubles with it. Because the buses let the kids off on the other side of the school from the Kind. class rooms. So Carlee said that she got off the bus and she felt like she was going to get trampled on by the big kids and she got stuck holding the door for all of them. (poor thing). So then she saw Julian and he walked on in and said Hi. Well then, he must have felt bad and went back out and "rescued her" and walked her to her class. What a Boy!! Sweet! Maybe I should start taking her to school on the days Julian isn't with us. Or do I let her figure it out on her own? This is hard for me to do. I feel like I want to always be there to "save" my kids. To help them. Wow, this is such a small thing, what will I do when she faces bigger struggles..... pray for me. :)
My little Gav is getting so big! And he is talking so much. We were looking for his Pablo that he sleeps with and he says "Pablo... where are....a you" it was so cute! He will pretty much try to say whatever you ask him to. It is so cute. He now says please and thank you too.. what good manners! :) My baby is so big!
So, i have been watching Jon and Kate plus 8 lately. I am hooked on this reality show that is about this couple who has twins and then sextuplets. It is amazing! I can't imagine doing this. Wow. Check it out on TLC if you can. Oh and this past weekend I watched one of my favorite movies... Because I said so. I love it. And I have to admit I have a little crush on one of the guys in it. :)
So this weekend the plan is to go to my grandma's house for a family cookout on Sat. I really enjoy these. I am excited. My grandma is such a great person! I love her dearly! I don't know what I would do without her.
Well, I am off now to get ready for bed. Getting up with the kids at 630 in the morning.

Today...

Man, what a hot day out today! We just got back from a walk. Carlee rode her bike while Aaron walked beside her and I pushed Gav in the stroller. It was way too hot to be out.

Earlier Carlee and I made a cherry cobbler. With an old recipe that is so good, but oh sooooo fattening. Carlee loves to cook and bake. And she loves crafts. She is so hands on. Give her anything like that to do and she is in heaven.. Now I have to try to stay out of the cobbler because it is so good and I don't want to gain any weight back. :)

And I have to tell you that on Sunday we were walking out the door and a snake crawled right across the sidewalk. I was terrified!!! It was only probably 6-8 in. long and skinny, but I was frightened. The guys said it was a garden snake, but I HATE snakes!! Even tiny ones. So I have to be honest and tell you that every time I go outside I look all around for it.. I am freaked out!!

So, now I want to ask you all to remember me in your prayers... I am struggling with a few things right now. I don't really want to share them on here, but I just don't know what to do about some things in my life.. I appreciate your prayers. :)

Picture day

We have a friend in town from MI. He is a photographer and his name is Chris. We decided to have him come and take pictures of us at the park. I was so excited. So I got all the boys white polo shirts and Carlee and I wore white shirts and teal tanks under them. It really did turn out cute. We missed Julian. His mom took him out of town this weekend. So we will have to try it again another day with him in it. It was hard with Gavin, he was pretty difficult until I got out the cookies. Food is always something great to bribe him with. :) But it was extremely hot this morning and we were getting grouchy. They turned out pretty good considering.. And then our friends Jeremy and Aubrey went tonight and got theirs done. It was fun for everyone. :)

Then this evening we went to Jason and Carissa's. We ate pizza and had a bonfire and made smores. I love to roast marshmallows! And Carlee is staying the night there. I will miss her but I know that she loves to be there...

So now it is about 11:15 and Aaron and Chris are playing a video game. And Gavin is in bed.
Well, that is about all for now. I am going to head out to bed.

On with the end

Well, so Gavin got RSV. No serious enough to put in the hospital. Just treated him at home with multiple breathing treatments a day. So then his Dr. wanted to get a chest x ray. So we went to the hospital and got that done. Well one evening we were eating dinner and his Dr. called. She told us that he did not have pneumonia. This was good. But his heart did appear to be enlarged. I felt as if my heart stopped. I started to cry. she told me not to worry. I was like yeah right, how can a mother not get worried when they are told there is something wrong with their baby's heart?! I cried and cried and called everyone to start praying. I was just sick. So then we scheduled an echo and ekg. And then went to see the cardiologist. He said that his heart was not enlarged. But that they did find a small hole and a coronary fistula. That did not make me feel any better. But he did say these were not serious right now, and may heal themselves. But it is something we have to keep an eye on. So, we went back 6 months later, still a hole and still a fistula. But it wasn't worse, so that is a good thing. So then he changed it to see him once a year for a while. Our next visit will be this Oct. Please keep Gavin in your prayers. So then Gavin had been getting multiple ear infections and his breathing was still bad. So we went to see an ENT specialist. He decided to put tubes in and to take out adenoids. That was an experience. As I took him there and had to hand him off I was crying and praying. What a small procedure, but I think anything your child has to bear, small or not, is hard. So then he came to and ever since then his ear infections have not been as bad, nor has he had as many. The only thing Carlee has been in the hospital for was to get her nose cauterized because she has multiple heavy bloody noses. Which this is hereditary. I also get them and so does my sister. Sometimes they are worse than others.
So, that brings us to right now.. my family now..
I feel so blessed to have my children and a great husband. Aaron is a wonderful man. He works hard for his family and he loves all of us so much. For those of you who don't know him well, he is really layed back, he doesn't yell much, and he likes to be a commedian. Sometimes when I am trying to be serious out pops a joke and it annoys me, but then again, that is just him and how he deals with things. He is an only child, but has a step sister and step brother. I love both sets of his parents. They are wonderful people. And if it weren't for them I don't know what we would do. And as for my dad.. he has lightened up a bit. He has gotten a little nicer most of the time. He loves his grandkids, but only wants to be with him on his time and for just a little bit. He is my dad, I do love him, I just wish things were different. He still wouldn't help anyone out if they needed help with anything. He loves his job and his money. He works very hard. And I still miss my mom. Some days are harder than others. It has been 20 years now since she has gone, I thought it would be easier. And some days it is. Well, to end my life story, I just thank God for my life. I thank him for my family. I take being a mother and wife very seriously. And I thank God for my friends. I love all of my friends as well. I don't know what I would do without them. So there you go. :)

Part 3 Life with Aaron

Well, Aaron and I lived at Coliseum Park for about 6 months I think and then we moved to his house in Woodburn. It was a 3 bedroom ranch. This was a hard move for me. But I just went with it. It ended up getting easier living in a house that his ex lived in. She was still having a really hard time with all of this. (As expected). But I was too. I had alot of thoughts of "what am I doing? Jumping right in to a parenting position of a child who is not mine.." I was still very guilty. I had a lot of talks with Aaron. He was still assuring me that all of this had nothing to do with me. I still felt bad for his ex though. I felt like "the other woman" which I never in a lifetime wanted to be that.. Eventually as time passed I started to get rid of these feelings. And realized after talking to everyone who knew them, it wasn't my fault. Not that I am saying I was right for being with him before his divorce was final. That is the one thing I wish I would have done differently. I wish we would have gone much slower. If we would have waited I would not have been so guilty, but also she would have felt better I am sure.
Then on Valentines day 2001 he proposed. Of course I said yes, I loved him with all my heart. It was great! And then I started the planning. It was so fun. We ended up picking the date of Oct. 27, 2001. Yes I got all my planning done in the short time. Our wedding was beautiful. We had a great time. I cried alot there. But they were tears of Joy. the only sad tears were of thinking that I wish my mom would have been there. I needed her there. I needed her to give me those encouraging words and help me get ready. And to tell me she would be there for me when I needed her. I missed her!
Then in July of 2002 I found out we were expecting. It was not planned. But I was so excited!! And scared. I wanted to be a good mom. When we found out we were having a girl I was sooo Happy. And then April 23 she was born. One of the best things that ever happened to me. I vowed to her that I would be the best mother I could. I love her with all my heart. And I still try to be the best mother to her. She is such a beautiful, smart girl. Sometimes too smart for her own good. She was an early talker. And she has never stopped. :) Now she is in Kindergarten. wow. Time goes so fast. But back to when she was born. I had so many emotions. I missed my mom. I wish she could have been there. Again, to tell me she would be there for me. And to come over every day and see me and the baby and help me. To give me advice. But I didn't have that. The days after I got home i was very emotional. Needing for someone to love me like a mother. But then I told myself to get over it. No one was going to do that. Then as my friends had babies, they had their moms there to help them. I was a little jealous. But I just vowed to Carlee that I would be there for her. To help her when she needed me.
So then after a little bit I decided it was time to get back into a church. I wasn't sure where, but I knew I wanted to. So some friends of ours invited us to their church. We said ok and went to Aboite Missionary. We liked it. Everyone was friendly and I enjoyed the service. Carlee was about 6 months at the time. A lady came up to us and said she knew us from somewhere. Come to find out she was one of the nurses that helped deliver Carlee. What a small world. So then we started going there on and off. Finally I decided I really wanted a closer relationship with God and wanted to bring the kids up in church. So I started going more often. And that is where we continue to go now.
Then when Carlee was about 2 1/2 we moved here in fort wayne to the house we are in now. We outgrew the one in Woodburn. I was so glad to do this. We were so cramped in the little house. And now we get a house that we started together.
Then we started to try for another baby in 2005. This time it wasn't easy. Then I prayed and said God, if it is in your will please help us to have a baby in your time. So then in Feb. of 2006 we found out that we were having a baby. This time we waited to find out what the sex was until I was 7 months along. We were going to wait and have it be a surprise, but I couldn't take it. We found out it was a boy and I was so excited. And so was Julian. At this point he had Carlee and 2 other sisters with his mom. He was excited to have a boy. Carlee wanted a sister. But she assured me she would still love him. :) I had gestational diabetes with him. This was a hard pregnancy. And then we had him on Nov. 21. I had some complications with bleeding and clotting and so forth and they worked on him for a bit to take a breath and cry. I was so worried.
Then around Christmas time he got rsv. Here started all of his health complications.
Well, I am going to stop here..

More of my Life

Well up to this point I was feeling lonely for my mom. I didn't understand why this happened. I just had mixed feelings.
So, my dad and step mom married in KY. We brought everything of theirs to our small house in Columbia city. Then we moved to Fort Wayne. To a 3 bedroom house with a 1/2 Unfinished basement. And I forgot to mention that when they met, my sister and Jason, her oldest, started dating. Sounds kind of weird. I know. But then that became a serious relationship too. My dad was not very nice to her kids. He made them sleep in the basement. Unfinished, remember. And he did alot of other things that I hope he repented of and I am sure hopeful he is really sorry for them. I don't understand why my step mom let her chiildren get treated like they did. Then Stephanie ended up pregnant. they then got married as well. They lived with us for a while. they ended up having 3 kids (2 girls and a boy) and then twins (girl/boy).
So, all through this time in our lives my dad still did not get along with Don. They always argued. But then so did my step mom and dad. My dad, in case you haven't learned by now, likes to argue. There was constantly an argument. So I think that he was part of the reason my step mom and I aren't closer than we are. I hated that growing up. I wanted a loving mother. She did teach me to cook and clean and so on. But there was never that affection. My dad was always really nice to me. But then that made the other kids mad at me all the time. I hated that too. I found myself wishing he would just treat me like the others so at least I would have them. My dad still did not let me see my grandma besides maybe 2-3 times a year. I loved going to grandmas. there were never fights, and I love her so much! I was so mad at my dad for not letting me see her more often. And I always hated coming home.
So then when I turned 11 my dad and step mom joined a Pentecostal church. I had alot of fun with the youth there. But only when I was allowed to be with them. My dad still was very strict and didn't let me do much at all. I hated this too. I wanted to be anywhere besides home. I was baptized when I was 12. I still went to public school, so when I became pentecostal it was hard. I had to wear skirts all the time, no cutting hair, no tv and so on. This was hard but I did it because I did love Jesus and thought this was the only way to live if you did. And I wanted to fit in with the kids at church. I always wondered about my dad and the way he lived. He didn't change much of how he acted except no drinking and he shaved his face clean of hair. I always prayed to Jesus growing up to never let my heart be hardened like my dad's. And to make my heart soft and love everyone. I never wanted to live like he lived. He didn't show love for anyone. But I know he had a really tough up-bringing. So I feel bad for him now too.
I turned to dating alot. But I use "dating" loosely. I didn't really get to go out with anyone. My dad wouldn't let me. Finally he let me when I was about 17. But there were very strict rules. But I liked to be noticed by boys. I wanted someone to really love me for me. To unconditionally love me no matter what.. I found out that boys didn't really do that at this age. :)
So then when I graduated high school I went to work at Sweetwater Sound. This changed my life forever. I decided to move out because my dad still wouldn't let me do anything. I was almost 19 and still couldn't even go with friends much. I was done with the life. I was done with my parents fighting all the time. Done with them fighting over me, done with hating my life. So I moved in with a friend from church. But then I got caught up in all of the things at Sweetwater and the people there. So I moved out of my friends from church and moved in with a girl from work. I then tried alot of things. And dated alot there too.
Then I met Aaron at Sweetwater. When I first met him I didn't realize he was married with a kid. I just knew he was a DJ on the radio too. We worked in opposite sides of the building, so I didn't meet him until like 6 months or so after I started there. And when I did meet him it wasn't love at first sight. I was too wrapped up in another person. So then I found out that he was married but that they were having troubles. So I was like no way.. not getting involved with that. I didn't want anyone with baggage. So then they separated and we got together. We just talked for a while. Then when we started "dating" we moved in together. WE moved in with a mutual friend from Sweetwater. (At this time I barely talked to my Dad). Then we decided to move to an apartment of our own. It was at Coliseum Park. At this time Julian's mom was very upset. And for good reason. They weren't divorced yet. so I did feel bad. I questioned alot of times what I was doing. Aaron assured me he was never happy with her and so on. So then she started doing really mean things to me. Like calling my dad. (Which I just loved considering how I was already on his bad side for moving out and not going to church anymore.) And there was just alot of drama. Like I said, I felt like I deserved it at this point and I did feel bad for her. I hadn't met Julian yet. We decided that was not a good idea at this time. But then when I met him he was about 2 1/2. He was so cute. And I was struggling with the idea of what I had done to his family. But Aaron still swears to this day that he would have left regardless. It was not me that made him. But that didn't help with my guilt. No matter how mean she was to me I would just take it. I felt like I deserved it. (By the way, now it is much better between us. For the most part).

Well that is where I will stop for now.
Please don't think like I am feeling like a victim. I am not. I am just sharing how I felt.

My life Story

The Beginning...

Well, I was born in Sept. of 1980. My mothers name Lucinda (Cindy) Lee and my father Dud. Yes, I know, what a crazy name. I grew up hating to tell people my dad's name, but hey, I didn't name him.
Anyways. I am the youngest of 3 girls. My oldest Sister Elizabeth (Ellie) is 10 years older. And my next Sister Stephanie (steph) is 8 years older. My dad told me that he wanted to try for a boy and that is why I am so far behind in age. I looked up to my sisters. I always wanted to be just like them.

I don't have much of a memory before my mom died. She died when I was about 7. But I will get to that night later... Nor do I have any pictures besides one of her or me or anyone...

One of the only things I remember is being in the hospital when I had pneumonia. I was in an oxygen bubble. I was probably 3 or 4.

I

So my parents got a divorce when I was about 5 or 6. I definitely don't remember them ever being together. I know that they fought alot. And that my Dad was an alcoholic. When they divorced she started to work alot. She worked at a bar and at a factory. At this time, Ellie was married. She got married at an early age, I think 16. And Steph was still with me. She is the one that stayed with me alot but also I stayed with my Uncle and his wife. My mom dated a bit. I always hated all of the men (not to say there were alot). I just hated them. She brought home one or two that I remember. I just hated sharing her with them. I felt like I didn't see her enough.

So then my mom started to have seizures. I was always scared to stay alone with her because these were scary. But on the night she died I was sleeping with her. She woke me up having a seizure. I ran in to get Stephanie and she called 911 and my uncle Gary who lived down the road not too far. So, he got to our house sooner because we lived on a farm in the country. He tried to do cpr and everything, but by the time the ems got there it was too late. They took me down stairs and my sister Stephanie was still in the room with my mom crying in the corner. I couldn't believe what was happening. This wasn't fair! I wanted my Mommy! So then Stephanie and I went to live with my dad. Whom we didn't know that well because we never saw him. He was a work -aholic. We wanted to live with my Grandma (mom's mom). But of course we couldn't. So then Steph really started to take care of me. She and my dad didnt get along well. They always butted heads. But my dad treated me like his baby. He dated around alot before and after my mom died. He was engaged once but broke it off. Stephanie took me everywhere. I learned way too much for my age. But poor steph didn't have a normal teen life. We fought alot, but I loved (well I still love her) her so much. She was like my mother thru everything. I don't know what would have happened to me if it weren't for her. She has a good heart!
At this time my sis Ellie had a baby boy. And they moved alot so I didn't see them much. Then within the next 4-5 years she had a total of 3 boys and a girl.
WE lived about 2 blocks from my grandma, but I never got to see her because my dad didn't like her. That was hard because I was always close to my grandma.
Then about a year and half later my dad met a lady through one of his sisters in KY. Her name is SAndy. She had 2 boys and 2 step sons from her late husband. Her step sons were older with families already. And her 2 sons were about Stephanies age with about a year 1/2 to 2 years between them. Their names are Jason and Don. They decided to marry shortly after meeting.


And I will stop there for now.. I will pick up on the rest later.

So, how am I feeling today... well let's see...

I am a little tired today. Aaron and I had a chance to go to dinner with no kids last night. We went with our good friends Jeremy and Aubrey. We ate at Lonestar and then went to play putt putt. So, we got to bed at 11. But i am still really tired.

I was reading thru the blogs of some of my friends and it seems everyone is telling their life stories.. I think that is a great idea. So maybe I will try it. I think maybe it will let people know where I am coming from sometimes and maybe help me heal from some of the things I am going thru. And hey, I like to share myself with people. As alot of you know, I am a pretty open person. I don't keep alot of deep dark secrets.. :) And I am open to closeness of people. I mean, I love being with people and helping people and talking so why not share my life story right?

Well, that will be my next post. Right now Gavin needs his diaper changed. I can smell him all the way across the room.. ssshhhheeewwwww...

Well as I am sitting here watching Aaron, Julian and Carlee build with legos I am trying to decide where to start with what has been going on in our life..

Since school has started we have tried to stay on a pretty good schedule. Gavin goes to bed at 815 Carlee at 845 and Julian at 915. Carlee and Julian get on the bus at 7:25. So they have to get up early. And Julian has decided to try band. He thinks he wants to play the Saxaphone. Aaron and I think that with him in Baseball, Football, Basketball and Boy scouts this is alot. And he will have a lot of responsibility. But we will see how it goes. His mom really wants him in band because she was.. she wants him to try it out.. Hopefully his grades won't fall. But maybe he will like it...

We went to Chicago This past Fri. Aaron's mom and Step dad treated us. It was nice. While Aaron, Julian and Kevin were at the Cubs game, Betty Carlee and I went to American Girl to have lunch. It was awesome. First they got us the seat for her Bitty Baby. Then they brought drinks and Iced Cinnamon Rolls. Then a fruit and veggie tray. Then we got to order lunch and then we each got dessert. The dessert was big it came with a cookie, chocolate mousse and a cupcake. We were stuffed.. Then we went to the lego store on SAt. It was a lot of fun.

WEll, that is all I have time for, for now..

We made it thru

WEll, we made it thru the first day of kindergarten. And today Carlee rode the bus with Julian for the first time. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. We both made it without crying.. much. :)
And I want to say thank you for praying for us and the situation with Julian. I think we have it worked out for the most part. God has answered prayers... he has made it much less difficult.
Now for another prayer request. Please pray for Aaron and his job situation. I will fill you in on that another time.
WEll I am going to a food tasting event tonight for HOmemade Gourmet. They have some new stuff out. I am excited. I love their stuff anyways. It makes my life easier. :) Thanks Tiffany for introducing it to me. If anyone is interested let me know.
Last weekend we went to a family reunion. It was my Grandfathers. It was a different experience. See I haven't really seen my Grandfather besides 3 times since my mother died when I was 7. But my Grandma invited me and I went really for her. (she and my grandfather are not together but she goes for the rest of the family.) Have I told you how much I love my Grandma?! WEll I do. she is a wonderful person. I don't know what I would do without her. (She is my mothers mom.) Anyways, back to the reunion. I saw people there who didn't even know who I was. But yet they were family. It was ok... Just different. My feelings for my grandfather are torn. I don't call him grandpa.. why should I right? i haven't seen him most of my life. So do I tell my kids he is their grandpa and make them call him that? Should I not worry about it since we probably wont see him? Oh well, I won't worry about it. The reunion is done and I probably won't see him between now and if I go to next years...
Well, i have to go for now.. today I work and have to get carlee from school at 1050 and feed her lunch before going to the sitters. busy busy..

Lately...

Well, let's see how it has been going with me... caoticness, sadness, confusion, and then even some loving moments.. wow, crazy huh?? :)
We finally have all of what Carlee needs to start Kind. on thurs. She has decided she wants me to take her the first day (let's hope I don't walk out sobbing) and then she thinks she will be ready to ride the bus with Julian. He will help her get to her class that way. He is such a great big brother! And she loves him so much even though they argue alot. They play together so much and they fight so much. Definately a normal brother-sister relationship. And then they ask to have slumber parties every night where Carlee can sleep in his room on the bottom bunk. They love it. And believe it or not Julian asks more than she does! It is so cute, and I figure I might as well let them while they are young enough to do that and they want to. And Gavin loves him so much too. They love on eachother all the time. It is so cute! I love this. And I know Julian does too. We are still working on the idea of his mom wanting to change the schedule. He has told us multiple times he likes the schedule it is, and we think it is the best for a split family situation. At least for our split family. So please pray for his mom and for all of us to keep that open mind and do what is best for him.

Then I got to talk to my father in law a little more. And share my feelings and a little bit of my childhood and why I am like I am. It was great. I got to share that I love him and his wife. And it feels great to know that they love me too. Considering I am not really that close to my own dad in many ways.. For those of you who know me well enough I am SO open to being close to people. I really enjoy peoples company and showing them I care. But it is also nice being cared for as well. I think that we all need eachother and we were put on the earth by God to help one another and be there for eachother. For all of you who read this, know that you have a special place in my heart! :) (and you probably all know I am a sappy person as well). I remember growing up praying for God to give me a "soft heart" and never to let my heart harden and to be helpful when I can. I think he has answered that prayer!

Let's see what else is going on..
Our friend Chris is coming to town at the end of Aug. to do our family pics in the park. I am excited. We will see how Gavin does. He hates to sit still as most of you know. And he hates his pic taken.. please pray for us. :) I hope we get at least one good one. Plus our last family pic Aaron and I were both 30 pounds heavier. It will be nice to get a new one. :)

Oh, yes.. and Julian starts football today. I love Football and Baseball. And he is so good at both.

And I am still working on my relationship with God. I know that I need to pray more. I long to be a Great mom, a Great Wife, and a great person. And I know I need God to help me achieve all of those things.
Well, that is all for now. I need to get going...

Healing

Well, yesterday was a good evening. We got to keep Julian an extra night since Aaron's dad, Dan and stepmom Helena were in town. Dan and Helena came over for dinner. We had baked spaghetti. It is always a big hit, and such an easy thing to make. And I made Peach Cobbler. It was great too. We had a good dinner. And then DAn gave me my early Bday present from him. I got an Ipod. It is so cool. Aaron has to teach me how to use it. lol. Then Helena and I decided to go for a walk to the park and work out some differences we had. It was over some big misunderstandings. And Man it felt great to work them out and let eachother know how we feel and some of our own issues. It was very good. It feels like a weight is lifted and now I won't feel as stressed every time they come to town. I just can't explain how better I feel. So, as I was doing this I thought that I should do this kind of thing more often when I get my feelings hurt or something. So, then I decided to work out a few things with Carissa. We talked and are still working. :)
You know I have been thinking.. Friends and family have way too much drama going on. You know, true friends can talk and can tell eachother how they feel and get upset but then still love eachother and not break apart the relationship. That is how it should be. And that is how family should be. But why is it so hard? Do we not like to hear the truth? Do we not like to know someone is upset with us? What is it? I know how important friends and family are. And life is too short to be mad or stay mad at someone. We all need someone or multiple someones.. But what everyone truely needs is God. It is hard sometimes to just leave things in God's hands.. but this is something I am really working on. Because ultimately he knows what will happen in the future because he holds the future in his hands.
Well, that is all for now..

I made It!

Ok, so I forgot to also say that I made my goal at weight watchers.... now it is just time to maintain. Wish me luck!

Today I took the kids to Super shots for their shots. Woo Hoo. Luckily Aaron had the day off to help. They were both troopers though. Carlee got her shots for Kindergarden and Gavin just got his 18 month ones.

Speaking of Carlee, she starts Kindergarden next week! She is excited, I am so Sad! It seems crazy that my baby girl is going to Kindergarden. I mean it feels like just yesterday that she was getting her 18 month shots. Now she starts school and will be in it for the rest of her life until adulthood. Wow, it makes me want to cry! I will take her down to the bus with her big brother Julian on the morning of the 14th and I will be walking back with Gavin wiping tears away. Please pray that God gives me strength!

Well, I am going to go for now..

Women of Faith was wonderful

Well, we had a wonderful time at Women of Faith! My best Friend Aubrey, Carissa and Aaron's step mom Helena went with me. We left Friday morning around 8am. I stopped and got everyone starbucks, we felt as if we couldn't function without it. :) So we got there with plenty of time to spare. We went shopping at Circle Center. It was nice shopping with the girls and no kids or husbands complaining...
Women of Faith was good on friday. The very funny Anita Renfroe spoke. And of course sang a couple of her funny songs.. And Nicole Mullen sang. She is fantastic. All of the women that were there had a special story to tell. And the theme for this Year was Infinate Grace. God gives us infinate grace. Nicole Johnson did some skits. All of them really hit home for mothers and really any woman. She showed us how our words and our tongue is like a fire. It can destroy and it is very hard to rebuild. So we should watch what we say. And even how we say it. And how we speak to our children stays with them for life. And how we talk to friends, and family.. And of course Patsy Clairmot was there. She was funny but then she had some serious things to speak about. She has a friend who was diagnosed with Cancer and is having a hard time. God gave her a scripture for this friend. She was not sure how it would be the right one but God layed it on her heart to give it to her. It was "Let there be LIght" Patsy said.. "Are you serious God? How is this going to comfort her? She needs something good." Well Patsy gave this scripture to her friend Carol. Carol was like ok... it didn't really help her out right at that moment.. but the next week she went to the dr. and he was looking at xrays (or whatever they were) and He said that he was looking for specks of light. He said that where ever the light is that is where the antibodies are fihting the cancer and it is a good thing.. WOW God is good and he knows what we need...
And then Marilyn Meberg went over love me never leave me, her book. And how people need that closeness from other people. But especially from God. And Sheila Walsh went over Prayer and how sometimes we need closure with things and to really pray about them. And no matter where we are God is with us. He is who we need to depend on. And Lucy Swindoll spoke last. On how God gives us Infinate Grace always.. And of course how could I forget Sandi Patti. She spoke on her wanting to always be a people pleaser and how she struggled with her self image. It was wonderful. I always get something out of Women of Faith and I really want to go next year! I feel like this year God Specifically spoke to me a few times.. And I am really working on being a better person. A better wife, a better mother, a better friend and a better christian. I love God with all of my heart.
Well, before I say good bye for now, I want to ask you for prayer. Please pray for my family. there are so many things we need prayer for, but the one thing I am asking you now for is to pray for our situation with Julian. Some of you already know what it is. Please just pray that God speaks to Julians mom and to us. I really think that the idea that was brought up is wrong and will not be what is best for Julian. So just pray that God will have his way with this. And that he touches everyones heart and mind. Julian is such a special person with a "special" situation. And we love him so much. So please help me pray for this.. I believe that there are peole hurting and with other situations that are trying to fix them or take control of this one thing in their life, and this is not the way to do it...
Anyways, thank you for reading.. bye for now..

July

Well, it has been a while since I have blogged. so let's see what is new...

I am still doing my weight watchers. I have lost about 33 pounds. I think I am like one pound away from my goal. I feel so much better! I just need to tone up now. I need to exercise! Ugh
Aaron is still doing good on his. he has lost 30. He is just maintaining now with more frequent cheatings.. lol.
Julian is good. He is getting so big. He will be 11 at the end of the month. He is such a good kid. Gavin and Carlee love him to death and he is so good with them. We are teaching him to do some house work. What kid likes to do that.. but we think it is important for them to have chores. He keeps his bathroom clean, besides I do the toilet. And he helps with dishes and puts his laundry away.. He doesn't complain to us to much... Only one more year of elementary school for him. My how time rushes by!
Carlee is starting Kindergarden next month. She is excited, especially about riding the bus. I am so sad that my baby girl is getting so big. She is still having bloody noses. Actually last night she had a pretty bad one. We are still reading our Bible. She is learning alot of the stories and we enjoy it.. She comprehends pretty well. She has decided to stop doing dance and maybe play baseball. Probably because her dad coaches and brother plays... but I told her she could try. She also loves to have swimming lessons too. She has come a long way with those.. My how time rushes by!
Gavin has quite the vocabulary now.. And he also is getting big. His breathing sounds so much better! He is now doing one breathing treatment a day and singulair at night. He loves to watch the Backyardigans. He is going to be going to Carlee's sitter in the beginning of Dec. It will be nice to have them together. I can't believe he will be 2 in Nov. My how time rushes by!
Aaron is still working a ton. Now that baseball season is over he has a little extra time. We are working on our relationship now. We are trying different things to bring us even closer. Including prayer which I think is the most important. I believe that marriage is something that we need to work on constantly. And people give up too easily. Or people think that marriage is going to be simple.. it is definately not... We will be married for going on 7 years and I assure you there have been times that are not easy.
I am getting so excited about going to Women of Faith in Indy on Aug. 1st and 2nd. This will be my 3rd year going. I love it!! And I am going with my 2 good friends Aubrey and Carissa and then Aaron's step mom Helena. We will stay the night on the 1st and come home the 2nd at night..
Well, that is about all I have for now.. Please keep my family in your prayers!

THANK GOD!

Ok, well I only have a few min. before I have to go to work. But I would like you all to know that we just got Gavin's CF test results and they showed that he is fine!! We are just going to do some more Allergy testing. Thank you for your prayers!!

Update

Well, where should I start? It has been busy for us lately!
I took Gav for his pulm. appointment. He said he does have Asthma and Allergies. But they also want to test him for Cystic Fibrosis. Please keep him in your prayers. This is a scarey thing. But I just think of words from one of my friends that I really look up to and thank God for :) God has blessed us with our childeren, but they are his. He has just "loaned" them to us to do the best to take care of them and love them and raise them to love God and others. So as hard as that is sometimes, I am going to try to leave him in God's hands. I know that I need to just trust in God and try not to be in control and let him be.

On a different note, we got back from St. Louis yesterday. We left on Aaron's bday (Sunday) with 2 of our bestest friends Jeremy and Aubrey. We went to the Cubs CArdinals game. And unfortunately Cubby's lost. But it was beautiful weather and a fun game. We had a lot of fun.

And then last night we went to Julian's game. And right in the last inning they won. They were behind and Julian hit the tying hit and then he ran it in on the next hit for the winning run. What an exciting game. Go Julian!!

Carlee had her 5 year check up today. She is doing great!!

Last Monday I got one of my widom teeth out. It was not terrible, but not great either.

And lastly, Sunday is mother's day. Happy mother's day to all of you mothers out there. Being a mom is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I Love it. Even when it is so challenging. :) My kids are great! Being a mother is one thing I take pride in. It has definately changed my life completely. But for the best.

Well, that is about it for now. I will let you know what the dr. says when we get the results for Gavin. His appt. is on tues the 13.

It's Warm!

How exciting... It is warm!

Well, the busy baseball season has begun. Aaron is coaching Julian's team and is very busy! He loves it though. And we enjoy going to the games.
Julian is still growing out his hair. But his dad has informed him that he is not allowed to grow it much longer. It is cute though.
Carlee is sill in dance. Her recital is in June. It is such a cute dance. They are dancing to Double Dutch Bus. She is having her bday party at Playtime. She is excited. And then we are going to have a few of the girls stay for a slumber party. Wish me luck. :)
And Gavin is learning new words ,it seems like everyday. And the Zyrtek is helping so much. He has only been taking one nap now. It is not too bad. I enjoy the break though.

Well, that is about it...

It's April!

Ok, well let's see what we have been up to....

We are wondering if Gavin may have allergies, so the dr. wants him to try zyrtec to see if that helps at all. And thank God that Carlee's blood tests all came back fine. She had her first dentist visit on Monday. She was so scared. But she really did do well considering. And for Julian, we have started to talk with him about who he hangs out with and worries as he gets older. Fun fun.. actually not really, the kids becoming teenagers is scarey! I know that Julian has a few years until he becomes a teen, but I think family talks around the dinner table is a great idea.
We went to a family skate with the church last Sunday. That was fun. And yes a little funny, considering I don't know how to skate and I tried. There were kids passing me left and right, but we had fun, that is what matters.... right? :)

Carlee is turning 5 on the 23rd. She is excited. And Aaron is turning 30 on May 4th. He is not so excited :) We will be going to St. Louis on his birthday with our good friends Jeremy and Aubrey. I am excited. We got tickets to a Cardinal -Cubs game. I am looking forward to a no kids couple of days. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids, but a break is nice. We don't get one often.

I am looking forward to this summer. I just want some warm weather. The kids love to be outside and they really want it to get warm soon. :)

I am still on my weight watchers journey. I have lost a total of 21 pounds. I am proud of myself. But I still have some more to go. And Aaron is still on it too. He is doing great and looking and feeling great too.

Well, I will update you when other things come along... :)

Friendship

Ok, so I was listening to mid-morning this morning and they were talking about having good friends and how important it is. And that just being there for eachother and presence of eachother when there is something going on in life is so appreciated. And we should be honest with our friends so there won't be any resentment. But also willing to listen and not get so angry if we are approached with things that bother our friends as well. This is hard sometimes. But I think it is so worth it to really get that closeness. I am one that knows how important friends and best friends are. My family isn't real close, so I rely and trust in my friends for a lot. And I hope they feel the same about me.

Well, the family's all doing well. Julian and Carlee are on spring break this week. They are excited about that. Gavin starts at his new sitter on Thurs. She is so sweet and I think he will love it there. Carlee gets her last blood draw tomorrow. Hopefully her last one. We will pray about it.

New things

Well, I feel enlightened, so I thought I would share. Let me know your thoughts..

First a couple people have turned me on to the probiotics for my kids, especially Gavin. They say that it is for kids who are on antibiotics alot. And that dr.'s are still overusing antibiotics, so the probiotics help you to get your Good bacteria that the antibiotics kill off. So that is why antibiotics cause your stomach problems and digestive problems. So I have decided to put Gavin and CArlee on that for a week. They say that people should really take it along with antibiotics to make sure those Good bacterias in your stomach aren't killed off.
Also, it was brought to my attention that Gavin drinking soy could be attributing to his breathing problems. So we are going to try to take him off of that too.
So we are going to be trying out a few new things.. I pray that it works out.

Also, we have decided as a family to start reading Bible stories together every night. I think this is so very important. I think that family bonding should start happening more. Especially with us having a pre-teen now on our hands. Julian is a great kid. We want to keep him that way and add God into his life. And Carlee is learning the Bible stories and undersandin them. This is great!!

I have just been thinking alot and praying alot about our family and our relationship with God. And I know that I need to leave my kids in God's hands daily and he will protect them and show them the right way to go. In this day and time, that is so very important. And I think this will help Aaron and I to grow closer to God and eachother.

So, please keep us in your prayers. And God Bless.

Get Caught up

Ok, well you all know about our family for the most part. I am going to fill you in on the health situations of Gavin and Carlee first.
First off Gavin got a case of rsv when he was about 3 months old. He has had problems with his lungs ever since. He catches everything! And he is on his Nebulizer(breathing Treatments) daily. Also, they found a couple heart conditions that aren't too serious right now. He has a hole in his heart still, but that luckily is closing slowly but surely. He also has a corinary fistula. This is a tunnel between 2 of his corinary arteries.
His dr. has now decided to send him to see a pulminologist at the end of April. We will hopefully figure out if he has asthma and or allergies.
My poor little guy has been sick for most of his life. But he is so happy. He is actually sick right now. Please continue to pray for him.

Now for Carlee...
She has been getting fevers and a headache once every couple weeks since Oct. So, they are doing some blood tests. Please keep her in your prayers as well.
She is turning 5 on Ap 23. And she will be starting Kind. in the fall. I can't believe my baby girl will be in Kind.

Now for Julian,
He is doing great! He gets good grades. He is a math genius. :) He gets a's and b's in that. He is playing baseball this spring and summer. Aaron is coaching him with Julian's grandpa Dee and friend Jeremy as the assistants. This will be keeping us busy.

NOw for Aaron and Me.
Well, we have been dieting and trying to get healthier lately. And in the past 9 weeks I have lost 19 pounds and Aaron has lost 30. We feel great! Although we have given in to temptation over this holiday weekend. :( I don't just have a sweet tooth I have a mouth full of sweet teeth!
Aaron is working a ton right now to try to pay off health bills. He works 2 jobs Mon-fri and one on Sat. and Sun. He never has a day off. He is exhausted. I just changed Jobs to Awesome Image Salon. It is right down Dupont. So not too far away. It so far has been a great move!

Well, I guess that is it for now. Please keep our fam in your prayers. And I will try to keep this updated as needed.